Parenting a Large Family: 10 Essential Tips for Success and Happiness

It is not always easy to raise a large family. Sometimes you feel like you are constantly juggling and never really succeeding at anything. But do not worry, you are not alone! Here are ten parent tips that other parents of large families have shared with me that may help you out:

1. Do Not Be Afraid to Ask for Help

I do not think I would have survived with four kids if I did not learn this very important step. I used to think I could do it all, but the one thing I cannot do is be in four places at the same time. So, remember that you are a human and will not possibly be able to be in all the places at all times. 

Asking for help is going to make you a better parent, as it will take away the pressure of doing it all. So, if you cannot pick your child up from school, ask for help. If you need someone to help with carpooling to events, ask for help. You will soon notice that your life will be made a lot less stressful.

2. Plan Ahead and Make a Schedule

There never seems to be enough time in the day to get everything done. This is especially true for parents of large families. However, if you take a little time each week to plan ahead, you can make your life a lot easier. Trust me, this is key. If I did not plan my week, I would be running around like a chicken with its head cut off. This has saved me from forgetting events, school functions, and many other things.

One way to do this is to create a schedule for your family. This does not have to be a rigid document that never changes; in fact, it should be flexible so that you can adapt it to your family's ever-changing needs. But having a general plan in place will help you stay organized and make sure that everyone knows what is expected.

3. Have Realistic Expectations

Parenting a large family can be a daunting task. You may have unrealistic expectations of what it entails and be constantly disappointed. There are a few things you should remember to help make your experience more positive:

· Do not compare yourself to other families. Every family is different and has its own set of challenges and blessings.

· Do not expect perfection from yourself or your children. Accept that mistakes will be made, and that is okay.

· Give yourself time to adjust. It may take a while for you to find your groove as a parent of a larger family.

· Set up separate areas for different activities

Remember, you are human, and so are your kids. Realistic expectations create an environment where your children will learn to be flexible, forgiving, caring, and understanding. 

4. Rotate Chores and Responsibilities

It might feel like there are so many chores when you have a larger family. The truth is that these are chores and responsibilities that all families have, however, they do not have to manage a “full” house. With a smaller family, you might be able to get away with doing laundry one day a week or unloading the dishwasher once a day, but with a larger family, this is all multiplied. 

Rotating chores and responsibilities prevents the children from falling into a rut. Imagine if you had to unload the dishwasher four times a day. How mundane. Turn it into a game, or everyone can have a partner for a week. Creating a chore chart with things that you know your children can oversee and that are age appropriate really helps. Each week or month, switch who does what. You will thank me!

5. Teach Your Children to Work Together

My children have all heard me say this a million times; “Many hands make light work.” If you teach your children to work together rather than against each other, they will be able to get to that game that they were playing a lot sooner.

One way I would teach my kids is to let them know that instead of standing and hovering for your sibling to finish a chore to play, help them instead. It will go quicker and will also encourage your sibling to help you when needed. Working together or doing projects together will foster many skills your kids will need in the real world as well. So, win/win!

6. Be Patient and Have Plenty of Hugs

Having one child will test your patience, but with multiple children, it can get stressful. There are plenty of times I have thought I was going to lose my mind or unintentionally snapped at the kids, only to realize that they are also frustrated and need me to stay calm. So be patient. Let them make mistakes, let them take forever to tie their shoe (if you have the time), let them have a tantrum, and then just hug! Lots of hugs! This solves most problems. 

7. Let Them Get Messy (within reason)

That is right; you read that correctly. Let them get messy! I promise this will make your life much easier, even if that gives you something else to clean up. However, when your child gets messy, it actually helps with:

· Emotions

· Sensory development

· Exploration and learning

· And most importantly, some downtime for the parent

If you are already stressed about the clean-up, then this is a wonderful time to have a teaching opportunity and have your children pitch in to help with the mess.

8. Model Good Behavior Yourself

We all know that what we do does not always match what we say. Children have a funny habit of tuning you out, I call this selective hearing, but they can fine-tune to watch your every move. So, if you want them to be polite to others, you will have to be polite to others. Model the behavior that you want your children to have, as this will make a huge difference in a large family. How you manage conflict is how they will manage conflict with each other. If you show compassion, they too will show compassion to one another. So, lead by example!

9. Taking Time for Each Child

Amidst the dynamic nature of raising a large family, I discovered the profound impact of dedicating individualized attention to each of my children. Recognizing that every child is unique with their own needs, interests, and aspirations, I made it a priority to spend quality one-on-one time with each of them.

10. Take a Break!

This one right here took me a while to learn. Taking a break from the kids to enjoy something you want to do will indeed be the best thing you can do for your large family. For any family size, for that matter. Taking a break will:

· Allow you to rejuvenate and be a better parent

· Teach your kids that it is ok to take care of oneself and not spread oneself too thin

· Create a space for you to be you, not just a parent

· Foster hobbies and interests so you do not lose yourself to your family

Do not Forget to Enjoy Your Large Family

There will be chaos, sometimes fights, and even some temper tantrums, but do not get lost in that. If you utilize the ten tips to surviving parenting a large family, you will have the opportunity to enjoy it! It all goes by so quickly, and I want to encourage you to take time to enjoy your children. Let them be kids, and let yourself be a kid too, and you will see that parenting a large family does not have to be as scary as it sounds.